was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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