When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
