he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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