So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
