I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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