I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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