Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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