Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hippo gnu deer
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
