My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
