apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
