Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
