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• (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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• (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat

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• (518): View more from New York

  Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook

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