omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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