rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!