I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Houston, we have a squirter
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax