batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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