I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back