no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
These Dirty People Havenâ€™t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.