Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?