if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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