Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
