I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
