drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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