the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
