Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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