Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
