So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
