Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
