Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
