All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is Oprah even human
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
