Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
