mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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