school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
