It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
