She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
