In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
