Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
