My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
