Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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