Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
