oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
