Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
