i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
