we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
