Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
