I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
