I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
