none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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