that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
