He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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