I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
