i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
