he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
