dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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