For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize