So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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