There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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