Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
