We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
