We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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