We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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