i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
