Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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